I’m making a very Christian Christmas eCard for freelance right now, and realizing my perception of Christians is something like “They likes crosses right? If I illustrate a bible that’s what they like, right?
If I submitted this to Urban Dictionary, who would support it?
"Dipping in the Devil’s Syrup"-
-To have sex with a Canadian
So I’m moving into a new apartment, and I was told that the room had been damaged, but nothing could have prepared me for the fact that someone had carved Li Shang’s head out of the bathroom door and written “We must defeat the Huns!” on it.
I always want to find the people who do stuff like this so we can become friends.
“I like clothes now. I have more energy. I sleep better. My sex drive is up. Blood’s flowing. I’m less susceptible to impulse. I’m in a different mode. When I was way out of shape, the idea of using whitening strips on my teeth seemed terrible. I have to do that every day? I’ll never do it. What you want is instant results when you’re out of shape. You want your teeth whitened in 45 minutes with the use of lasers. But when you’re in shape, you know it’s the result of doing a little bit every day. Moments aren’t just moments. A moment might be a week or a month. So instead of Boy, I’d love to eat this hamburger right now, I’m considering a little further into the future. I’m thinking, I eat that hamburger and that’s 1,200 calories, and I’m gonna work out tomorrow and lose 800 calories. I may as well eat a salad here, still do that workout, and then I’m actually making progress.” — Chris Pratt
Chris Pratt is awesome and an inspiration! Overall cool dude.
Aside from the people who love to share the gift of their annoying fucking laughter at standup comedy and the simpsons throughout the entire day.